Self-sabotage

Have you ever started something, only to let the fear of failing completely stop you from continuing?

Have you ever been offered something—maybe a job, new position, great new home, or crazy opportunity, only to feel like you weren’t worthy of it, therefore pushing it away?

Likewise, have you ever taken a position or opportunity because you were deemed a good fit, only to see all your failures and mistakes accumulate over time—completely diminishing the sparkle you once had as you start to feel completely inadequate?

Do you constantly worry that people don’t like you, or that you don’t fit into a certain crowd?

Self-limiting beliefs are excruciating to manage. Its overwhelmingly difficult to see how damaging the self-deprecating thoughts in your head can be. Suddenly, all the thing you were good at, deemed a good fit for or lucky enough to attain, are no longer in your vicinity as you’ve pushed them away.

You see, it’s not easy.

I have such high doubts about being good enough or well-liked because I’ve been abandoned before. I’ve been offered fabulous things that were then completely false hopes in the end. Conversations have brewed about this opportunity and that opportunity—often resulting in no opportunity at all. Its heartbreaking to be let-down time and time again. It hurts to feel left in the dust by friends, employers, co-workers and family members. Businesses close and then your promise of being employed is gone. People talk poorly and suddenly your sponsorship is no longer offered. New members join the team who you just don’t gel with, causing sheer conflict. Family members don’t understand your needs, and therefore abandon all communication. Friends disappear as you choose to leave an old lifestyle behind. Partners cheat and choose other spouses, and the one person you believed you could count on—is gone.

Suddenly, self sabotage comes racing in before we can let anyone hurt us:

Offered a new job — turns it down because “I’m not ready.”

Starts a new job — quits it immediately due to feeling like you’re not good enough.

Talks to a coach about joining the team — suddenly it’s “too expensive.”

Offered a sponsorship — decides that it's not for them because they haven’t worked hard enough to earn it.

Asked to be in an exclusive relationship —suddenly you’ve lost interest or don’t want to be in a relationship.

Sees people at work chatting in secrecy — automatically assumes it about them and therefore doesn’t create any long lasting friendships.

Do you see how it’s expanding?

Do you see how your lack of self worth, and your fear of rejection and abandonment are taking over more areas of your life?

Are you seeing it? Are you feeling it?

It fucking sucks. It does.

Fear of abandonment, not fitting in or not being good enough are completely taking over your whole sense of self—and that’s not what life is about.

We have been blessed with the gift of breath. We have been blessed with the ability to live, learn, laugh ad play. We have been blessed with life. We shouldn’t fear, nor should we run from opportunities, great people or wonderful places. We are meant to enjoy, conquer and love. So why aren’t we? Why aren’t we trusting that we are in the right place, at the right time? It’s imperative to feel like we belong; but it’s equally as imperative to remember that if we don’t, it's okay. It’s even more imperative to stop being a fkn asshole to yourself, too.

The world will continue spinning if we just let ourselves take the opportunities in front of us, believe that we are presenting ourselves in our highest form, and build great connections. It will continue to spin if we believe that the conversations we hear aren’t actually about us, and it will keep spinning when we walk into our mistakes with opportunist eyes. We don’t need to constantly deflect and run from all the greatness that is offered to us, and in fact, we need to learn to embrace it.

Life is trying to work for you babe. It’s trying to treat you well. But constantly judging, running from, and neglecting the process that life is, is only hurting you. Thats when you’re not treating yourself well. Trust in all that you are and all that you have.

You can do this—I promise you.

Xo

Dee