Be inclusive.
- Feb 13, 2021
- 3 min read
Why aren’t we including people?
As a whole (generationally and globally speaking), we are absolute assholes at including people. If people aren’t in our immediate friend groups, we tend to look at them as if they are different, and judge their characters within seconds. We tend to automatically assume that people won’t fit into our group, and therefore leave them on the outside. Heck—even if they are kind-of or some-what in our group, we tend to leave them on the outside.
Please allow me to pose the question, WHY?
Why don’t we include people?
Why are we so quick to judge others?
Why do we automatically assume that people won’t fit in? Why do we expect the worst in those we meet?
Why don’t we extend invites?
As someone who has backpacked a country or two, travelled a bit and seen a few walks-of-life, I can certainly agree that being a good judge of character is crucial in protecting yourself as an individual, but getting to know new people, is equally as important.
Not invited to the party? That hurts.
No dinner invasion extension? Ouch.
Coffee or tea with a mate? Nah.
Seriously, why?
Now I am not saying that invites need to be a daily, or event based occurrence—however, I do believe that it is a very nice gesture to let someone know their presence is important to you. People may not always want to join, nor will they always be available to do so; however, allowing them to feel included, makes them feel included in your life, and also ensures they will want to include you in their life as well. Its a give-and-take kind of thing as no relationship/friendship is a two way street.
I lived in a hostel (proud moment—let me assure you ahah) and was asked to do Halloween makeup for 8 individuals. We had a blast and their makeup turned out amazing; but I wasn’t invited to the party. I got to watch everyone get ready and literally be a part of the whole experience, yet wasn’t invited to the party. #Ouch.
I also worked aa a live-in-nanny, where I wasn’t invited to dinners out or birthday get-togethers for relatives after being told that “being a part of the family” is a huge deal for the kids. again, #Ouch…and also, how is that teaching the kids to include others? Exactly, it’s not.
Why is it important to include others?
If someone has just moved, more often than not, they are looking to find their groove. Those whom have recently moved may be new to the area and don’t have a support network or buddy to chat with. Being inclusive is crucial for them to build that foundational trust and support system, as well as feel like they belong.
People are always changing. We learn from experience. Experiencing new cultures, making new memories and learning from others is how we grow, learn and develop as an individual. Being open-minded and open-hearted when meeting others helps us flourish as individuals and discover new heights about ourselves.
Your new best-friend could be around the corner…But you’re too busy with your head shoved up your ass to notice them.
Everyone is fighting a battle. That invite you just extended, that could have saved someone from self-sabotaging behaviour, a relapse, a depression spell or even worse—a suicidal attempt. You could have just extended the invite to save someone from themselves and their biggest mental demons.
New experiences. New adventures. New memories.
No matter what, you learn a lesson. Good or bad experience, its a hangout that taught you something about your likes and dislikes in both your character, and others personalities. This can definitely help you in all aspects of you life, from balancing work relationships, to creating better communication with those you love.
You’re being a good role model and teaching those around you a valuable lesson of “include, not exclude”.
It’s better to give than to receive. Meaning, it’s better to give kindness, than just take it. Give the gift of your kindness and invitation, it’ll have you feeling better, too.
Life was meant to be shared with others.
Connection = happiness.
So seriously, I really don’t feel that I should have to say this, but I will.
Stop being a jerk.
Include others, forgive peoples pasts, open up the conversation and extend the freaking invite. For the love of God, some people really just want to create some connections and conversations. You likely won’t die, but you will likely smile.
Cheers.
xo
Dee
Comments