LIBERATION NATION

I FEEL SO LIBERATED!

WOW!

You did it Daniella!

You really did it!

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I have been living in Australia for 6 months now, and although yes, its been Winter here (which is actually freaking cold, ps) - I haven’t gone for a real, full out, swim.

Why is that?

Well; insecurities, stubbornness, excuses and taking life too seriously are why.

Seriously. I am a pretty serious person, constantly stressing, desperately seeking the ability to live-out previous good times of the past, or worrying about the future. I never really enjoy the moment, and when I do - it’s often short-lived and easily forgotten.

However lately, well lately, it’s been different.

...because I’ve been different.

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I went into quarantine recently, due to a close-contact situation with someone at the gym. Originally, it was fucking distressing, to say the least - partially because I lost my job at the exact same time. I was overwhelmed, irritated, frustrated, bored and annoyed. The idea of going into quarantine was more chaotic to me, than the actual quarantine-time, itself.

But yep. Quarantined.

In that experience, I was luckily distracted by crazy thoughts, good Netflix and honestly - a friend from afar.

My mood lifted post quarantine. A friendship developed, my experiences were enhanced and I was more relaxed than I remember being in a very long time.

I was finally taking a break from slaving at someone else dream (work) due to not having any. It’s fucking great (she selfishly admits haha). Sure, I’m stressed about money, but I am also just embracing this current moment.

Anyways, enough of that.

There is liberating AS FUCK good shit, coming up!

3…2…1

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I FUCKING JUST SWAM IN THE OCEAN

…

IN THE COLD ASS, FUCKING RAIN!!

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I woke up this chill-vibed Sunday morning, and I knew I didn’t want to workout. I knew my regular routine wouldn’t cut it, and that I needed a rest day from the gym.

So I went for a stroll instead, since I absolutely love walking first thing in the morning!

** however, if you know me, you know I absolutely despise both the cold AND the rain **

The Costal Walk in Bondi Beach is a famous one that I intended on fully walking. However, I turned around when the rain set in, only walking a portion of it. Hood up, trying to avoid getting my hair wet, I walked back, kinda miserably instead of joyfully.

On my walk back, I surprisingly said “fuck it”, as I took my shoes off and walked along the beach when I hit the sandy part. Although rainy, cold and wet - the water really wasn’t that bad! Sure, it was cold, yeah, but not freezing. Something in my soul only saw joy, glitter and sparkles within the opportunity that laid ahead.

“Do it”.. I said, "jump" as I fucking leaped into the cold water

(rain, clothes, fresh hair, cute makeup and all).

I jumped into that ocean screaming in pure joy and bliss!

I felt like a little kid at Christmas! I felt SO unbelievably liberated. I hadn’t felt that free, that alone, in a long fucking time, mate.

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For years,

For years, I hadn’t felt alive.

For years, I hadn't wanted to feel alive.

For years, my depression got the best of me.

For years, alive was the LAST thing I imagined.

For years, I avoided getting wet or jumping in the puddles like a little kid.

For years, I was too serious to dance in the rain.

For years, I let my body dysmorphia and shit self-confidence stop me from living.

For years, I chose being responsible over being fun.

For years, I made excuses.

For years, I wasn’t living.

But today - this morning; things were different.

I danced. I sang. I screamed in joy. I smiled. I laughed. I breathed deeply.

I jumped for joy. I embraced the rain, the cold, the ocean, and every single fear.

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I FEEL SO LIBERATED.

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I fucking jumped in the ocean!

I fucking jumped in the ocean, somewhat fully clothed, with clean hair (girls you know that’s a big deal), makeup done for the day (again, I was dedicated to looking cute and not getting wet) and EMBRACED IT ALL.

Everything is washable - including you, Daniella, I thought as I forgot about everything, in that cold, nature made bath. I felt my whole soul being cleansed as I danced in the rain.

I felt like a kid again, and it was truly unreal!

I let the fears, the self ridicule, the seriousness and the thoughts of past experiences and future worries, go.

I just fucking left it all there, and jumped - forgetting everything including space and time - and it was something I don't recall ever experiencing.

I really don’t recall the last time I felt that care-free or alive.

But let me tell you - it was fucking amazing!

It was everything I didn't know, I needed.

So let me just say - fuck yes!!!

Happy looks DAMNNNNNN good on me!!

And I know happy will look good on you, too.

Dance in the rain babe.

You’re worth it.

xx

dee