Your body will balance out
- Apr 21, 2020
- 4 min read
Your body will eventually balance out.
But, it may not balance out the way you envisioned it to do so.
Our bodies are incredible thresholds, that withstand so much trauma, torture, work and yes - love. Our bodies move, workout, create, craft, play, laugh, dance, run, walk, cook and ultimately; keep us alive. Our bodies tell us when we are tired, choking, energetic, injured, hungry or full. Our bodies will protect us from danger, attacks, falls and stings. Our bodies are freaking incredible - they truly are.
You likely have put a lot of pressure on your body throughout your life. Training for sports and events, under-eating/over-eating, intolerable foods and supplements, etc etc. The list goes on. We all want to do, be, look and attain certain things - often forcing the process, instead of allowing our bodies to guide us through the process. Does that make sense?
I know I personally have put my body through the ringer in regards to movement.
I started working from the young age of 13, often working multiple jobs in order to buy things early on in life (my own car at 16 years old, unnecessarily expensive clothing, a platinum blond hairdo that lasted 4 years (OMG), college education, etc etc). As you can imagine, my worth ethic persisted throughout my entire life.
...
up until about now (CoronaVirus Era of Apr 2020.
I was always go-go-go, working 2-3 jobs, educating myself, attaining friendships, side-hustles, hobbies, etc. I competed (in fitness competitions), had a meticulous diet, trained hard and put myself through school, all at once. It was actually bloody-well nuts, now that I think back to those times. I truly don't even recall when I slept. But I did it. I wouldn't take no for an answer and I forced myself to complete everything. I was "productive" as fuck. A real over-achiever, for the success of my goals.
K Daniella, where the fuck are you going with this?
Well, captain impatient.
After years of under-eating, over-training and over-working, my body balanced out. But not in a cute, she's becoming an adult phase. Purely in the ugly puberty phase. I went through a "chunky" phase, to a "shredded/fit" phase, to an Eating Disorder rebound phase... to now. No, I'm not the leanest or most "shredded" I've ever been, but my body balanced out to a state it's much happier at. It took a lot of time, a fuck load of tears, patience and a boatload of begging to a higher power for help....but it balanced out... and yours will too.
This is what I meant by the "but it might not balance out the way you envisioned it to" statement, above.
Truth be told: My shredded phase was my personal favourite... but it sure as fuck wasn't my bodies, or my mindsets favourite phase. Actually - it hated it.
The physique I carry now, is a physique that isn't my "best", but it is one that allows me to eat chocolate, travel frequently, and live without food fears and regrets.
You see, after years of damaging my body, my body was scared shitless. My body tried to protect me by gaining weight rapidly, and inflame due to confusion, internal and external issues. I had to re-learn how to eat, think, drink, etc. I had to allow my body to essentially "hate me" (aka do everything other than what I wanted it to do), in order to come to a more peaceful place.
We often look at this "rebound" after diet or extreme exercise, as a super negative thing; and truthfully, I did too. However, it's a remarkable "rebound". It's fucking remarkable, the things our bodies are capable of. You see, this is your body fighting its ass off (or yours lol) to keep you alive. It is your body telling you "enough is enough, I want balance" - to which, it will find, with or without your help. This is your body - fighting for you!
Now my main point of this has minimal to do with that story above.
But yet...a lot.
I have been fucking exhausted throughout this Corona, Quarantine Pandemic. I mean fucking EXHAUSTED. I literally sleep from 8pm-6/6:30 am and am still EXHAUSTED. Maybe I'm over tired, maybe I'm not. Whatever it is, I intuitively believe it is my body balancing its-self out, learning how to sleep properly again, after years of under-sleeping. I was inconsistent with my sleep for such a long time. There was always work, training, school, or something that I had to wake up early for. I would bust my ass working late at night, only to bust my ass in the gym before working 1 of my many jobs, the following day.
The viscous cycle has finally caught up to me. And now - here we are. Learning how to balance back out...again. This time, its not with food from an Eating Disorder or years of living in the diet-extremes. Nope, it's from somehow living the majority of my days on less than 6 hours of sleep.
I think the Corona Virus is a nice swift kick-in-the-ass from all our higher guides, telling us we ALL need to calm the fuck down, sit our asses on the couch and have a nice long nap. I truly believe this pandemic is life's way of slowing us down, and having us catch up on what is necessary - like good nutrition, food, rest, water, family time, sunlight and things money can not buy.
Embrace this uncertainty.
...because I truly believe that if you go around everyday during this pandemic, kicking yourself in the ass for not being "productive" you will absolutely regret when you've got work, and other obligations forcing you to move 100miles a minute.
This is our opportunity to reset.
Don't regret this unbelievable blessing life has given you, by not honouring the break.
This is a a pause.
This is the pause we all begged for, when work was hectic, life was busy, and shit was chaotic. This is your pause. So fucking pause.
Seriously,
Pause. Breathe in this air. Mellow out. Relax. Take a fucking nap, man!
This is your pause.
FUCKING PAUSE.
I love you.
xo
dee
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