Expression
- Apr 17, 2020
- 5 min read
Express your needs.
Expression is a truly underrated form of self-care and self-respect.
You may be saying to yourself, "expression isn't self-care". But it is. It's a form of it. Self-care and self-respect go hand in hand. Without one, you can't fully have the other.
Self-care / self-respect go beyond bath bombs, facials, rest-days and movie nights. It is not only what you do for yourself, but how you treat yourself, and allow others to treat you, too. It is boundary setting, a long with its many other realms, as well.
Likewise; expression goes beyond yelling, shouting, and screaming at someone. You can express yourself through dance, workouts, media, play, song, and verbal communication. It's imperative for your health - to ensure you are flowing and asking for the things you need, in order to thrive.
Remember when I said "it's boundary setting", it is.
Expression stops you from being hurt by someone else, verbally, mentally and physically.
When you express yourself, your needs, and your requirements - you are not only respecting yourself, but you are respecting those around you, too. That expression - those words you speak - they are a direct manifestation of what is next to come.
When you are expressing yourself, you do need to do this in an open, honest, kindl and compassionate way. People could become offended by you asking for something, due to personal internal insecurities and dialogue. What you must do - is honour that you're requesting this for your own needs - rather than blaming or shunning someone else and their efforts.
If you constantly hide your internal thoughts in your shell, you will never get what you truly desire. Likewise, if you do it in a hurtful, blaming or rude way - you may lose a friendship. I encourage you to use the world balance as you practice expressing yourself. You must own and make the other party aware that this is for YOUR OWN internal needs, regardless of their great efforts or misunderstanding.
Cool? cool.
For example:
1. If you want someone to stop pushing you, you wouldn't ignore them in hopes they stop. Rather, you would directly tell them to stop pushing you because it hurts you.
2. If you need a hug - same thing. Ask for it. Ask for that love.
3. If you want someone to show you affection, express this in conversation stating that it is how you feel love.
4. If you need someone to be gentler about the commentary they make in regards to your food intake - say so, because it is triggering for you, otherwise.
5. If you need someone to stop making fun of you - request that as it hurts your feelings.
6. I personally receive love through acts of service, so sometimes I ask for an act of service "can you please take more initiative and toss the laundry in the dryer when it's finished" could be something you need to express.
7. Expression could be your need to have someone be softer about your weight gain/loss.
8. Expression could be stating that you need some alone time, or a quick break.
9. Expression could be telling someone that you need them to stop touching you because it's makes you uncomfortable. (This is a hard one for many. I don't like people touching my stomach because my body is still trying to balance itself out from years of internal damage via bodybuilding and eating disorders. I kindly request that people don't touch my stomach or mid section yet, as it's not the act of their touch that makes me uncomfortable - it's how I feel in my skin, that makes me uncomfortable).
10. Expression could be journalling, dancing, singing or drawing.
So how do we express ourselves?
Expression all starts with intuition and awareness. In order to express yourself, you first need to become aware of what you need to express. Expression can really and truly translate into boundary setting, too. When you know the things you require to thrive as a human, you eventually won't settle for anything less.
... ps: thats the beauty of this.
I am the queen of expression.
If you scroll back through some of my blogs, you'll see that I wrote a blog about my best friend. Well let me tell you, that guy has been the barer of my "learning to express myself", highest self. I literally have expressed myself in the worst ways - until I finally got "asking for space", right. (ps. I'm sorry for all the times I snappy snapped).
Anywhoo,
Expression.
It's simple.
Ready?
Say what you fucking want and speak your mind.
K, it's not that simple.
For many people, they don't know how to externally voice themselves without feeling like an arrogant dickhead. Meanwhile for others (like me), they can normally (not always) voice their needs quite flippin' freely, with no shame what-so-ever.
[Quick story time]
I need me-time in the mornings. Being 18 hours ahead of my beloved (and sometimes annoying) best friend, is really hard. He's the best in the world, because he is always the first to text me since he rises as I go to bed. This also means that as I rise, he's going to bed shortly - so we only have a few hours to chat. I want to chat with him - but I also need time to actually wake up and be a human.
I feel everything. Seriously, I feel fucking everything. Every emotion possible. I can feel someones emotions through literally nothing. Thin air, a 40+ hour plane ride of distance, by passers in a grocery store, little kids playing, or a screen with words written on it... I feel fucking everything. It's a blessing, and a curse.
Needless to say, lengthy messages first thing in the morning we're killing my vibe. I would get caught up reading about his hardships from the day before, that I started my day out in a "hardship" (negative) frame of mind. Likewise, when I was told about how my friend had good days, I wasn't as affected.
I expressed this to my BFF, and stated that although I love him dearly, and want to hear about his day - I need breathing space first thing in the morning, because I was allowing the simplicity of a message, to radically shift my mindset. I expressed that I would prefer a quick "hello", while I get my things organized and ready for the day - to reduce my anxiety and empathic vibrational levels.
Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe it's how I expressed my own needs - but whatever it is - it worked. He has completely honoured my needs, making my mornings run a bit less chaotic (mostly in my head), and more positive. If I have a rough morning now, I can normally find the piece of the puzzle from the day before, or an event that happened via my own doing - rather than unintentionally (and wrongfully) putting blame on someone else.
**Shoutout to my BFF who has handled allllll my moods and accepted all my wrongful blaming apologies.**
The moral of this story : Express yourself.
So, as you can see in the story above. Expression is a truly important part of being. It is how you limit the things that negatively affect you (for whatever reason), making room for more positivity and love, in your life.
I encourage you, to express yourself.
| Be kind | Honour your needs | Respect yourself | Respect others |
xo
dee
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