nobody & no body

INSERT ▪️▪️▪️ TRUTH BOMB.

I went to a conference in San Diego this past weekend, to level up my mindset. It was an amazing conference full of like-minded females, entrepreneurs and badass females.

However, I felt really unfit. Not physically, but just as though I didn't fit in. I don't have a business nailed, a niche discovered, nor am I in a really secure and grounded place.

Its safe to say - I almost felt as though I didn't exactly belong. I mean, I didn't not belong, but I also wasn't at these girls, levels.

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TRUTH IS:

I'm insecure as fuck. So fucking insecure. 110% honesty coming at you.

Yes, I'm rocking an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny - yellow polka dot bikini (insert singing) here, but what you don't see is my insecurities, running rampage in my brain. What you didn't see is how I was hiding my stomach because I was bloated and felt really "huge". At the conference, you didn't see me sinking in my seat, in both awe and self doubt. What you didn't see is me shaming my "boxy" figure, which a beautiful girl kept reminding me is athletically built.

What you didn't see was me begging for information on how these badasses have made their dreams come true, yet I can't even rationalize my anxious thoughts.

What you didn't see was anxiety striking me left, right and centre, affecting my entire self worth and belief system. What you didn't see is the 800 photos taken on my phone, before getting that "really good" photo. What you didn't see, was the inner-struggle I fought though.

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I've grown a fuck ton.

Whether you recognize it, or not - idgaf

[I don't give a fuck]

...

My relationship with fitness and food is no longer the end all, be all of existence.

I can go out and eat the things I want to eat, without feeling insecure about my choices or worried about judgements.

I can go out and eat without diving into an all out binge, behaviour before, during or after my meal.

I can bring the foods I want to bring, without fearing judgement and just going knowing:

"I am who I am" and owning that.

I've given up on giving a rats ass if you agree or disagree with my decisions, habits and behaviours. I am who I am.

However, in regards to my body image? I still struggle, a lot.

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I think its' perfectly acceptable to want to change things about yourself. I think self-improvement is important and vital to evolving in an ever-changing world.

However, I don't agree with hating yourself.

I just don't.

So. This is my reminder to you (and myself) to not compare yourself to the "perfect" girls you see on Instagram and other social media sights. Truth is, you don't know their story, their thoughts, their pains or their progress.

[Please, take the time to remind yourself that nobody, and no body is perfect]

Cheers to the booty shaking, insecurities that keep reminding us to be REAL. xo

dee